It’s my birthday!
My Jordan year, the year no one likes me, mid-way to my mid-twenties, twenty-freakin-three.
Since I am now so, super adult and old and things, I have all this disposable wisdom that I would be selfish not to share with all of you. I mean, how will any of you have meaningful and successful futures without the help of my sheltered and privileged experiences?
So, here are 23 lessons I’ve learned in 23 years.
1. Dogs look funny in human clothes
2. Dogs hate wearing human clothes.
3. Dog bites hurt.
4. Get a dog. They’re amazing.
5. The quickest way to make a friend is to ask them questions about their life.
6. Home hair color kits from Walgreens are a $7.99 way to regret the next three years of your life.
7. You don’t have to drink alcohol to have fun.
8. Talking to adults is terrifying. (I still stand by this.)
9. Listen to your mom. She’s not lying when she says she’s always right.
10. Doing something new is scary, but doing the same thing for the rest of your life, is even scarier.
11. Camouflage gaucho pants should have never existed.
12. It’s okay to surround yourself with nice things, as long as you remember that things are all they are.
13. The early 2000’s was not a great time for music.
14. School is boring.
15. Go to school, even though it’s usually boring.
16. You should always follow your dreams, but make sure you have a back-up plan too.
17. It’s a lot easier to get ready in the morning if you actually put your clothes away.
18. Nothing in life is a problem, until you make it one.
19. Learn how to cook. It’s good for your self-esteem and your waistline.
20. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re too old for something.
21. You don’t have to pretend to like old movies/music/styles/etc.
22. Be with a person who points out the things about you that suck and expects you to be better, but doesn’t expect you to change.
23. If you ever have the thought I’m mature, it means you are not.
You’re probably just a clueless, 23-year-old.