I have a lot of girl crushes. I might possibly have more girl crushes than I have regular crushes on men. I mean, I can flip through a couple Instagram photos of a shirtless dude celebrity and then move on, but when I have a girl crush, I scour her social media all the way back to the beginning. I want to know everything about her. I want to know what she likes, what her humor is like, and get a sense of just how cool she really is.
At this moment I am crushing hard on Gal Gadot. That’s Wonder Woman for those of you who don’t pay attention to wonderful things happening in the universe. She is gorgeous (I mean, she was Miss Isreal), she’s badass, she’s funny, and she juggles motherhood and a Hollywood career beautifully. She did reshoots for Wonder Woman while five months pregnant. Seriously, just look at her.
She’s a real person?
Are you fuuuudgin’ kidding me?
My girl crush is in a pretty advanced stage by now. I’ve spent an embarrassing number of hours watching behind the scenes and press junkets on Youtube just to hear her perfect accent. She’s amazing and if I ever got the chance to meet her, I would likely hyperventilate. Not because she’s famous, but because she’s an incredible human specimen and I am crushing so hard.
Of course, it’s easy to have girl crushes on celebrities because we rarely see them in anything other than their perfect form. They wouldn’t have made it into the limelight if they weren’t intelligent and beautiful so it makes sense that they would be loveable.
However, not all of my girl crushes are famous. I have girl crushes on women in my life all the time. I had a one on this girl in my senior project group because she was the hardest worker in the class. I had one on my manager at my old job because she was vivacious and kind. I have girl crushes on basically all of my older brother’s friends because they are all so sweet and they light up the rooms they walk into. I have one on my sister-in-law because she is super goofy and the prettiest person I’ve ever seen in real life (honestly, she looks photoshopped but that’s just her face).
I’ve encountered some pretty fierce ladies in my twenty-three short years.
So often it’s the female way to see a girl shining in all of her wonderfulness and be angry or jealous that we feel inferior to her. We want to shine brighter and snuff her out. The difference with a girl crush is that I don’t want to be like these women. What makes them so special is that they are flawless in an area that most people are flawed. In any type of attraction, what draws you to a person is the things that make them stand out. If we all were equally perfect, we would never be able to call out what makes someone wonderful.
Sure, having these women around me certainly makes me try a little harder. I strive to be a little better in the areas I struggle in that they do so well, but not in an attempt to match them. Rather, it’s in the way that running next to someone fast makes you push your normal pace. You’re not trying to beat them because you already know they will win. You’re just trying to make yourself a little bit better because you recognize how much you admire their strength and speed.
That’s why I love girl crushes so much. It’s an opportunity for a woman to acknowledge how incredible other women are. Something that, in my opinion, is not done nearly enough. I spend so much of my time glaring at the girl across the party that all the guys crowd around or glancing at the girl on the treadmill next to me to see if her thighs also jiggle when she runs. It’s such a natural reaction to compare and put down to make myself feel better. With girl crushes, it’s a way to say, “You know what? There are ways that you’re better than me and I think that’s beautiful.”