I think I’m funny. Really funny. I know it’s not just in my head because it’s been confirmed by at least two people….my dad and my best friend. Those are two completely unbiased opinions that I can trust. I know there are others like me out there. Everyday comedians put on the planet to grace those around them with their wit and cleverness. Heroes in a world of darkness. Soldiers in the good fight for happiness. Gifts to humanity. You know who you are. This is for you.
You look back at old posts and laugh…at your own jokes
Sometimes you scroll through your Twitter or your Facebook profile and look back at old posts while chuckling and shaking your head. It’s a good reminder of how silly and fun you’ve always been. Gosh, you forgot just how funny you can be. You marvel at the fact that you only got four or five likes for 140 characters of comedic gold.
You say things like, “Did you see my Tweet?”
Sometimes you think of the perfect joke that you are probably the first person in the world to think of. No one else could possibly be this clever. So you type it out, re-read it one hundred times to check for any errors, and then press Tweet. Hours go by and your best friend or significant other hasn’t liked it yet. You know they get notifications on their phone when you post. They must just be really busy. So when you see them later in the day you ask, “Did you see my Tweet.” Which is really just your subtle way of saying, “Bitch, if you don’t confirm how funny I am immediately, we are going to have to reevaluate this relationship.”
When people don’t laugh at a joke you say, “Come on, that was funny!”
There are times, though very rare, that your audience (meaning the three people in close proximity to you) do not respond well to your joke. You drop your punchline and stand there with eyebrows raised and hands out in front of you in a, “Eh? Eh?”, kind of stance waiting for tears to stream from their eyes from a combination of uncontrollable laughter and incredible awe that they are standing in the presence of a comedy god. Yet, all you get is one of those through-the-nose laughs or a head shake accompanied by a “Woooooooow”.
Despite their lackluster response, you know for a fact that your joke was good, they just didn’t get it. So, you try to help them see just how funny it was by saying, “Come on, that was funny!” Because if they didn’t think it was funny before, your desperate attempt to defend it will definitely change their minds.
When people do laugh at your jokes your feel a surge of pride and affirmation
It’s not like you really need their approval. You already know that you put all of the actual comedians that the world follows and adores to shame, but it’s still nice to get confirmation from others. Sometimes it’s nice to hear, through the jingle of laughter from your friends and family, that everything you thought about yourself is true. You are spectacularly funny and the world deserves to hear your humor.
You still believe in puns, even though no one ever laughs at them
Puns are always hit or miss. There is an audience who loves a good pun, but more often than not, they are greeted with eye-rolls and an annoyed sigh. You know this. You have told many a pun that landed poorly, but that won’t stop you. Puns are clever and no amount of humorless, uncultured idiots like your friend or co-workers are going to stop you from sharing your quick thinking and word play with the world.
You’re offended when someone doesn’t like your “brand” of comedy
There are many different types of comedy. There are the dry, sarcastic types, there are the pun and slapstick types, there are the loud and swearing types. When you’re a closeted comedian waiting for your big break, you choose your niche and stick to it. When you find the type of joking that you’re good at you also find that it works for most people. It is your specialty, after all. So, when you meet someone who doesn’t like your sense of humor, you are personally offended. It’s been proven time and time again that you’re endlessly hysterical in a specific area, so who does this person think they are to find you not funny? They obviously don’t know anything about humor and probably spend their free-time kicking puppies and knocking shopping bags out of the hands of old ladies.
You start a blog
You’ve determined that you are the funniest thing to ever grace the lives of your friends and family. They are so blessed to have you and your jokes in their lives on a daily basis, but what about the rest of the world? There are millions of people out there who are missing out on your ability to make the world a brighter and better place. They don’t know it, but their lives are incomplete. So, you start a blog because the world needs you.